Tackling Accusations

One fine evening I get a call from my wife who informs me that the mother of my son’s bus mate had called politely accusing our son of shoving her kids finger in the fan in the bus.


While thankfully there was no real damage which had been done the mother had  continued to berate the seriousness of what my son had done and how she and her husband had discussed it at length and since we were friends they were just highlighting it to us. We absolutely agreed with her what had happened should not have happened if it really was the case.


While we were obviously worried post the call. Our first reaction was wow was this our son she was talking about can’t be right. We know our baby and the level of mischief he can engage in my wife duly apologized to the mother and assured her that we would take it up with our son.


Our approach with him was not a confrontational approach but rather a casual conversation on the dinner table about his day and the journey back home in the bus. Luckily for us not sensing any danger he didn’t clamp up but happily told us the entire incident which had transpired in the bus. His friend on his own had decided to put his finger in the fan and test the results luckily for him the blades were of plastic and that too were running at a slow speed so not much damage was done


We double checked in a roundabout manner that could someone have put his finger in the fan  but the story did not change. In fact on being questioned whether he unknowingly would have done such a think pat came the response why would he do such a silly and dangerous thing.


Convinced of his innocence we decided to investigate on our own on what had happened this was an obvious reaction to deal with the unnecessary accusation being levied against my son. So the approach decided upon was to check with the conductor and or with the maid in the bus, who would be privy to the shenanigans the boys did in the bus.


So I decided to go to bus stop next afternoon  which also meant that I too would get a low down from the mother on the perceived actions of my son. I did apologize on his behalf but also hinted that the accusation could be wrong.


Sorry if I am boring you but too cut a long story short we stood vindicated in our belief the conductor and the maid both confirmed that the boy, on his own, had put his finger in the fan none of the other kids in the bus had encouraged or instigated him to do so. In fact they also said that he was one of the naughty ones in the bus etc.


Now I was smiling as the  tables were turned and the flow of apologies had changed.


The point in all this being how do we tackle such situations without getting defensive. The boy obviously scared of the consequences of his actions decided to pass the buck on to the others in the bus but ended up being in the wrong. Similar fights / issue will continue to be a part of his growing up what is important is how do we deal with it?


2 thoughts on “Tackling Accusations

  1. Great post, Rohit! I liked the way in which you and Shikha handled this situation, especially the manner in which you unobtrusively checked out with your son, if he was indeed the culprit that he was alleged to be. A good example for other parents to emulate! Looking forward to reading more such posts…

  2. you hear the parents story. you tell them clearly that you will take it up with your own boy and get back.
    when you get back you let em know clearly, what you found out.
    you are doing them a favour, as they will be able to call wolf, in future situations and not bug other parents on hearsay from their own child.
    parents are often trigger happy based on information from their own child.

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